The Online Struggle

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“I am 36 years old, I did 12 years for ‘manslaughter’, I killed a woman, like you, who decided to make fun of guys cocks. Happy to say we live in the same state. I’m looking you up, and when I find you, I’m going to rape you and remove your head. You are going to die and I am the one who is going to kill you. I promise you this.” (Hess, Amanda. "Why Women Aren't Welcome on the Internet." www.psmag.com. Pacific Standard, 2015. Web. 6 May 2015.)

There is a human being behind every screen, however, women are hardly treated as one online. Many women online have faced sexual harassment at least once in their lives. Reasons as to why women are harassed online are vague, but to exert power over someone is a major motivation for many. A woman doesn't even have to be a blogger or journalist to receive harassment. Any woman online can receive threats, sexually explicit messages and sexist comments. Women are also attacked simply because of their gender. The sad reality is that whenever a woman seeks for help to report the online abuse, not much is being done to prevent future incidents.

In a section of the article “Why Women Aren't Welcome on the Internet,” Amanda talks about her experience of online harassment. She received tweets from a fake account threatening to kill her. She also had gotten emails from men trying to degrade her and found an online forum where men suggested what they would do to her and a feminist activist because they did not like her article. One man suggests: “Put em both in a gimp mask and tied to each other 69 so the bitches can’t talk or move and go round the world, any old port in a storm, any old hole.” (Hess, Amanda. "Why Women Aren't Welcome on the Internet." www.psmag.com. Pacific Standard, 2015. Web. 6 May 2015.) The same experience Amanda had is not far from what other women have faced.

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I am pretty sure that many of us has had at least one experience of online harassment. It is not uncommon, but it goes unnoticed most of the time. Just like victims of rape, online harassment victims are being blamed or ignored. “. . .as part of a political movement that refuses to acknowledge men’s violence against women as an epidemic. Instead, they see men as the real victims–of feminism. Their self-appointed victim status gives them the right to call women names, threaten and intimidate at will.” (Atherton-Zeman, Ben. "How Some Men Harass Women Online and What Other Men Can Do to Stop It." Msmagazine.com. Ms Magazine Blog, 23 Jan. 2013. Web. 6 May 2015.) Men are excused for their abuse because they are seen as the victim. Another reason why online harassment doesn’t get much attention is because women are expected to “either get over ourselves or feel flattered in response to the threats made against us.” Online death threats and rape threats put a person’s security and life at risk. It is a huge predicament oblivious to many. Even police officers and social media aren’t treating the issue seriously. Criado-Perez, a female tweeter, retweeted the threats she received and contacted the police and Twitter for help. The police and Twitter shifted the burden on each other until one officer finally came out and said that the police “don’t want to be in this arena.” (Hess, Amanda. "Why Women Aren't Welcome on the Internet." www.psmag.com. Pacific Standard, 2015. Web. 6 May 2015.)

It gets worse. Accounts that appear to be feminine receive abuse as well. “In 2006, researchers from the University of Maryland set up a bunch of fake online accounts and then dispatched them into chat rooms. Accounts with feminine usernames incurred an average of 100 sexually explicit or threatening messages a day. Masculine names received 3.7.” (Hess, Amanda. "Why Women Aren't Welcome on the Internet." www.psmag.com. Pacific Standard, 2015. Web. 6 May 2015.)

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Another predicament that goes along with online harassment are the dangers of online dating. Women, especially young women, may meet a guy online and may wind up dating. Although there are stories reported on how long distance relationships have worked out, not every story has a happy ending. Some women have found themselves in relationships with partners who have inexplicably changed and have become abusive. I, personally, knew someone who was dating online. She dated this guy for two years and even had the opportunity to meet him in person several times. Everything was perfectly fine, but late into the second year he started demanding nude photos. He became verbally abusive to her to the point that her self-esteem started to deteriorate. She mustered up the strength to scare him off by threatening to call the cops. It took her a couple of months to really get rid of him and get over the whole dilemma. She blocked him online and informed her parents so that they can be prepared to act whenever he became a threat again. That was two years ago. She is finishing her first year of college and is happy now.

When I read these articles, I became furious. These women try to make a living by writing on the internet and these men feel the need to send death and rape threats. It's repulsive. And some women online just want to be online but they have a chance of meeting someone who will verbally abuse them simply because they are women. Many women now try to hide their identity online to avoid any conflicts, but that says to me that women should hide in the shadows. Women should feel free enough to go anywhere whether that place is real or virtual and not have to feel like her safety is at risk. It also angers me how men say that women should get over it because it's just some "online ruse" when in fact the problem is more than that. It's a matter of security, equality and human decency. Many times these online predators do not get caught because the police don't give the issue much attention until it is too late. Women are just as human as men and do not deserve this type of treatment.

We live in a society where we can easily connect online. This privilege has been abused so many times and unfortunately little is being done about it. We need to be more aware of this issue and spread the knowledge. Please do not be like all the other people who are oblivious to this issue and help a fellow wo-man out. And please, think before you text or post anything.

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Article Links:

http://www.psmag.com/health-and-behavior/women-arent-welcome-internet-72170

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2013/01/23/how-some-men-harass-women-online-and-what-other-men-can-do-to-stop-it/

Cornrows In Cooperate: Black Hair In The Work Force

Curls, kinks, twists, black hair is beautiful. However we all know how difficult it can be to manage. There are many hairstyles that black women use to make our hair more manageable, such as dreads, corn rolls, weaves and perms. More recently however women of color have been leaving behind the relaxer and weaves and embracing their beautiful natural curls. I have seen a lot of girls around school recently learning to love their magnificent curls, and you all look beautiful by the way. Despite this not everyone is seeing the beauty in natural hair.

 Black women are worried that their natural curls could affect their job employment, and rightfully so as there have been a myriad of cases these women being denied promotions and even fired for their hair. Their natural growing out of their roots hair! In august 2012 news surfaced of a dean at a Hampton University school (a historically black college) placing a ban on dreadlocks and cornrows in 2001. Rhonda Lee a black news anchor was fired in 2012 after she defended her natural hair. In 2013 Melphine Evans, a former BP executive was reportedly fired for her braided hair and "ethnic culture". Offices that have denied employment to people who wear their hair naturally compare these hairstyles to those of mohawks and dyed hair claiming that they are extreme. I remember my aunt coming to my mom and asking her what she should do about her natural hair because her boss asked her to change it. I was so shocked when I heard this because I couldn't understand how natural hair could be considered unprofessional or a distraction. My aunt was angry as well but she did not want to loose her job so she decided to actually chemically change her hair with a perm. This discrimination does not only exist in the corporate workforce however. Black military women who make up about 1/3 of  the women in the armed forces are concerned about new army regulations that surfaced last year. These regulations include a ban on multiple braiding, twists, and afros. These regulations primarily target black women and the only approved hairstyles are those that involve women being in a salon for hours including perms and blow outs. Some of us have already entered the work force and I think it is important for us to be aware of the discriminations that exist in the work force. We have to work twice as hard to even be considered for these positions and then it comes down to the miniscule detail of our hair. My advice to you and all women with natural hair is to wear it proud! Despite what any one thinks because honestly if they'll fire you for your hair, they really don't want you to work there and they'll find something else to fire you for. Find a workplace where you will be accepted and appreciated no matter what your hair looks like.

 The following is a link from a dailyshow interview about black hair in the military: http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/p3pawq/operation-black-hair

Are we ready for a female President?

A few months ago, our Women's History class had a brief conversation about whether or not America  should have  a female president. This controversial subject that caught my eye and my interest in the subject was rekindled in my research about my woman of the week: Belva Lockwood. Besides becoming the first female lawyer, another one of her greatest achievements was that she was the first female to "officially" run for office with n actual campaign. Doing this she managed to gain nearly 5,000 votes, which where all from a male audience since women where not able to vote at the time. If a woman was brave enough to do it in that time period why not  cant the women  of the women of the 21st century stake a strive for the big chair as well?

In my opinion I think a woman is  completely capable of being president; as long as she has the qualities that are needed to lead a nation. I fell very strongly about this, however, there does seem to be some obstacles that even today prevent women from obtaining the position of president. An article I read said that, "American Presidents typically come from just a few high level offices, most of which have had relatively few female occupants."(Ross Cohen). This was an interesting  point because when you think back into the colonization period, many of the presidents were former army generals. Women weren't allowed to fight in the army back then but, even in this day and age where woman actually can join the armed forces, there are very few female generals; even to this day. Another example that the article presents is that even despite the efforts of women like Sarah Palin and Geraldine Ferraro, there has yet to be a female vice president. It also says that even though  many women have been elected as senators and governors, the percentage  of men in these occupations greatly out weigh the percentage of women. Some may deem this as a great accomplishment for women in the political world and others may see it as an aspect the women need to improve on before they consider leading a nation.


Even as I am for  the idea of a female president I feel that others might even take it for granted. They might  not take a female president as seriously as they would a male. They might focus on the more superficial aspects of the female president than they cause they support and their efforts to build a nation. I can just see it now: Hilary Clinton reciting her 2016 inauguration speech and all that's being talked about in the tabloids is the color of the pantsuit she wore that day. There are some women today who would wholeheartedly support a woman going into office, yet, there are also those who are stuck and the past and see men as the better leaders because of the apparent "toughness", "strength", and "aggressiveness" that they have that women supposedly don't. The truth is that women can be as tough and aggressive as they need to be when the time calls for it and at the same time still hold on to their innate nurturing qualities.

Maybe its time for us to break away from the stern and demanding leaders that we have had for centuries and look into a new type of president: one whose nurturing and can empathize with her nation, treating it as if the whole nation its self were her own child. A president who could carry her nation along side her as she helps it grow and prosper into something even better than it was before.  And a president who is welling to recognized all people as equals regardless of their race, background, or ethnicity. We need a president who is able to reform the nation and act as a precedent for other women to do the same.  What do you guys think?

Women Exploring Their Sexulaity - Unacceptable?

slate.com

    Women Exploring their Sexuality

This past week we have been learning about women and birth control. Birth control is a well effective method that stops women from conceiving. Contraceptive pills have also given women more sexual freedom. This new found freedom has made yet another double standard for women. A woman who remains chaste may be seen as a respectable, good-matured woman, while a woman who takes the time to explore her sexuality is labeled a whore and many other degrading names. These adjectives have been used to characterize women for centuries. A woman’s virginity was a bargaining tool for her parents and was used to decide her fate. Even with all of the forms of birth control in society, the double standard still has not changed. Unlike women, Men may be praised for their promiscuous actions. This double standard is pushed by the media and seen in many TV shows. One show I watch called The Tudors, takes place in England during King Henry VIII reign. King Henry has a friend named Brandon who is a real ladies man, he is attractive and very charming. The amount of women he sleeps with is ridiculous. Even when he is married, he continues to have affairs. Brandon is simply praised for having “the finest women”, but these women’s reputation can be tarnished forever. 


The Tudors

The Tudors

I know personally as a young woman growing up I’m told to be aware of my surroundings, I should not be in a secluded area with a guy. I’m told to save myself for marriage, that I don’t want any of the bad effects of premarital sex. I am taught the do's and don’ts while my male cousins are presented with condoms and told to be responsible. This article Double Standards Between Men and Women correlates my feelings on the way sex is discussed.  I feel as though this double standard has no chance of ending in the nearer future. I understand that sex is not something to be taken lightly. Sex between two people who love each other is a beautiful thing; Sex can be even better in marriage because the relationship is more secure. Exploring your sexuality does not mean you should constantly switch partners, but sexual education should be taught in the same manner for male and females. As teenagers in a sex centered world, both genders should be educated in the do's and don’ts of being sexually active. Everyone should be taught about the dangers of STD’s, STI’s and the risks of teen pregnancy. Everyone should understand the emotional toll sex can have on you if you do not take it seriously. I want to know what you think about women and men exploring their sexuality? Do you think a better education of sex would help men and women of all ages? Do you think it is possible for this double standard to cease?



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Housewives Vs. Single Working Women

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After watching the movie “Iron Jawed Angels”, I noticed that the tension between the single women and the housewives is apparent. The mothers thought that the single women were not fulfilling their roles as “proper” women and wasting their time and not doing their duty whereas the single women thought the housewives were a waste because they were dependent on their husbands and were home with the children. I have been noticing that housewives have this negative connotation to them. People believe that housewives stay at home all day, taking care of the kids, cooking and cleaning and often misunderstand that it is hard work to be a housewife. Although a housewife does not have a typical job, she does have a very important job of her own. 

Single women are mostly independent and do not rely on a partner to take care of themselves, which has earned them so much more credit in today’s world. I came across this discussion on debate.org that asked “Are Working Women More Respected Than Housewives” 68% of people agree that working women are more respected because housewives are seen as lazy and useless because they do not contribute to making a living. An opposing argument is that housewives should be more respected because they are devoting their life to their husband and children and are not being “selfish” and depriving the child of the attention he/she needs from their mother. 

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As I think back to the movie, Alice Paul and Lucy Burns sort of look down on the housewives because they were not making a real effort with helping to gain women’s rights but they did forget that the housewives were the ones with the political connections, in the case of Emily. The mothers could not actively participate in the picketing outside the White House because they could have faced arrest and taken away from their children. Although both set of women looked at each other differently, both of them were needed in the fight to gain women’s rights. What do you think of Housewives and Single Women?

"Thinspiration"

"Thinspiration"
Ashley Phillips

“Type the terms “#thinspiration,” “#thinspo” or “#ana” into various social media networks, and a disturbing underground world comes into focus. Images of emaciated legs and protruding ribs are flanked by words like “starving for perfection” and drastic tips to drop weight. Combined, they reveal a troubling movement that advocates eating disorders”(Fighting social media). Although many people believe it is only normal behavior for teenagers to become a little insecure about their physical appearance and weight through their teenage years, research shows that for many it is becoming more than normal. It is an obsession or newly found epidemic called “Thinspiration. 

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Now some people may be wondering what Thinspiration is and why it is so important. Thinspiration is a “term that refers to inspire weight loss. Usually the person who is trying to lose weight will use pictures of someone who is the desired size as a reminder of his or her goal.”(Yandoli). Most people who believe in Thinspiration are not fixated on the idea of being healthy, just the idea of being thin. Thin does not necessarily mean healthy.This is proven by people who become sick or caught up in eating disorders. “Forty-seven percent of girls in 5th-12th grade reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures or ads. Sixty-nine percent of girls in 5th-12th grade reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape” (ANAD).

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This fact is important to understand because it shows the effect that that social media and just media in general has on these girls. I believe this sets them up for failure because instead of believing they’re beautiful they feel the need to constantly compare and tweak what they view as their flaws. The Internet has become a common source of Thinspiration imagery, especially on weight loss websites and those that promote eating disorders like Anorexia, Bulimia etc.The problem with all these images coming about is that women then tend to look down on themselves because they feel as though they are not good enough or not up to the unrealistic expectations that our society has created with these images and expectations on what a woman should be.

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Most people, including teenage girls, look up to their favorite celebrities as a source to show what their body should look like instead of focusing on medical facts about healthy weight. This is a problem because everyone’s body is in fact different and the perfect weight for someone else may not fit or be healthy for you. “Weight is based off height, age, body type and gender stated by” (Ideal Weight). So two people may be the same weight but one looks bigger than the other based on these things, that does not make a person fat. The ideal body weight as well as a healthy body weight range based on height, gender, and age.  A person who believes in or follows Thinspiration may feel fat when that is not true at all.

The pressure society puts on celebrities and models to be thin sells. These companies are only interested in the business side of things. These companies are not concerned with the effects of their shenanigans. Every magazine cover that is put on display is photo shopped often beyond recognition. If one is not informed of this they begin to look up to and aspire to be like or as good as the photo shopped model or celebrity on the cover.

Using Thinspiration might be able to get you down to the desired weight of choice but it will not happen the healthy way that it should happen and the results will eventually disappear because your “healthy lifestyle” will change after the results you want are temporally present. Those results will only make you feel better and or more confident for the time being, trying to change yourself in this unhealthy way won't only damage you physically but mentally as well. You should love and accept yourself and than tweak yourself if wanted. As my father tells me as long as you exercise and stay on a balanced diet you'll be the weight you're suppose to be.

It is alright if losing weight is something that people want to do, as long as it is done for the right reasons and it is in the right mindset everything will be alright. Do you guys agree with this? What are your thoughts on thinspiration? I believe women overall should start to become more confident because we are all beautiful at the end of the day. Physical appearance is only a small part of a what is considered a “beautiful person”. A beautiful mind, heart and soul are what counts. 

If You Don't Look Like a Calvin Klein Model, Don't Expect us to Look Like Victoria Secret Angels!

 

    Do any of you guys have a Victoria Secret Angel body ? Maybe some of you do, or think you do, or for you seniors are trying to achieve that body. All I have to say is STOP ! You are perfect the way you are, stop letting the media, your boyfriend depict the way your body should look just to be accepted in society . I don't know how many times I have heard people say that they wish they had a nice body every- body shape and size is unique in it's own way , whether it is being petite or a bigger petite. Every girl let's themselves down because they see what is on TV and say I want that, they look at Kim Kardashians behind and say " I need me a booty like that", or they watch the Victoria Secret Fashion show and say I want my body to look that, and just think that is how they have to be. For those that are letting their boyfriend tell them they want a girl with boobs or a behind , he isn't right for you or if he is saying he likes girls that look a certain way leave him. If for some reason you can't leave him tell him once he looks like a Calvin Klein model then you will look like a Victoria Secret Angel. I myself have let the media control the way I should be by looking at what the media thinks is pretty.

 

    Let me tell you guys a story and I'm sure only some people in the class know this story. So I met this guy about six or seven years ago and his name is D.J. I have had the biggest crush on him he is a senior and  he goes to St. Benedict's my entire family loves him, they think he is the perfect guy for me. However, many times I think to myself I might not be the best girl for him. For a while D.J was in his awkward stage but I still liked him and no girl paid attention to him, then puberty hit him hard as can be. He is tall a little muscular and he's Portuguese he has a smile that melts girls hearts, from what I heard he has a good heart, and he is really funny- which is great because I love to laugh. But recently I have been hearing the kinds of girls he likes and I have noticed a pattern in the girls he likes for example they are all Italian, they all have "blond" hair, and they all have a booty. So for a good time in my life I thought he will only date me if I was Italian, had "blond" hair , and a booty so since I couldn't help him out with the Italian part because I am Peruvian and Puerto Rican, and I refuse to dye my hair "blond", I thought I could help him out with the booty part. So over the past summer I was doing exercises to make my booty more firm, more round, and not so jiggly. It wasn't working and I thought to myself he will never date me. Every time my aunt would introduce us he would look up at me for a second, then he would look away, it made me so mad. But recently I have been noticing that I can't be like those girls and will not be like them and that D.J will like me for me. Then I also thought he isn't exactly everything I want in a guy maybe he should change I like guys with light eyes, who aren't Portuguese, and who aren't so cocky. So in my head I thought if you don't become the ideal image I have of a Calvin Klein model, I won't become his ideal image of a Victoria Secret Angel. But then I also thought and with the help of people who are more wiser than I am that it isn't just about looks, you also have to take into consideration the way the person's personality is. They could be the cutest guy in the world but the biggest jerk you meet, or like it is most of the time that the guy with the biggest heart isn't always your first choice, but the guy with the heart is meant for you.

 

   There was a book I read once it is called "The Earth my Butt and Other Big Round Things" by Carolyn Mackler if you girls haven't read it I highly recommend it , I read this book at the time I wanted D.J to notice me. It is about a girl named Virginia who is oppressed by her skinny family, everyone in her family from her parents to her siblings are all skinny and they are all popular, and Virginia is the outsider of her family she is a little thick and she hates herself everyday for it. She gets bullied by these certain girls called the Brie girls who in the end you find out one of them has a eating disorder, and she tries so hard to be skinny and be accepted by her family. She even puts a picture of a model on her fridge so when she gets something to eat she remembers this is what she wants to look like, so she doesn't eat to much. In the end Virginia realizes she doesn't have to listen to her parents in the way they want her to be she can be her own type of Victoria Secret Angel ! On a blog I recently read Just Say Yes they had said " TV, movies, magazines, and the Internet all bombard teens with images and pressures about what their bodies should look like." I completely agree with this even my mom goes I wish I could be like that or look like that.

   

   The Victoria Secret Angel fashion show wasn't too long ago and I am sure we all looked at those girls like they were goddesses with their skinny bodies, long legs, I know I did and no one should have to think they need to look like that, whether it is the media, your friends, or your boyfriend who expects you too look like that. If someone does say you need to look like this just say " Sure when you look like a Calvin Klein Model, I will look like a Victoria Secret Angel!"The good thing is these days more women who are thicker are being able to become  models or are trying to become a model in season 16 of America's Next Top Model they let Kasia go on the show when there normal average model is smaller and taller.  But my question to you guys is do you let the media or your friends oppress the way you look? Do you look at any model and wish you looked like them? Who influences you the most on your body and how you look?