On Sunday night many of us were probably doing last minute homework and watching the Grammys. We were interested to see some of the most talented artist get recognized. During the Grammy’s this year President Obama gave a message about domestic violence. He said “It’s on us to stop domestic violence and sexual assault.” He explained how we should take a pledge to see how we can help stop this problem. Seeing the artist that we look up to take the pledge will help others want to take the pledge too.
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Some people can’t notice signs of being in a abusive relationship and sometimes people confuse or assume certain relationships as being abusive. 50 shades of grey is a book/movie that many people have been talking about. The question that many people have been questioning is does it promote domestic violence?
An article written by BreitBart strongly believes that this movie/book promotes domestic violence. They believe that "Christian puts Ana under contract to serve as a sexual 'submissive' and uses intimidation, coercion, humiliation, violence, stalking, manipulation, jealousy, and other controlling behaviors to groom Ana and keep her under his domination." There is a petition going around to stop and disapprove the movie. They want women to share their stories and for people to make donations to women's shelters, its called 50 dollars not 50 shades. Do you think that the book or movie promotes domestic violence why or why not? Would you take the pledge? Do you feel as though people overlook the situation? What other ways do you think domestic violence can be stopped? Are there other ways to make people aware about this?
I personally didn't read 50 Shades of Grey so I wouldn't be able to say whether or not the book/movie promotes domestic violence. I feel as though it shouldn't take a petition to make people share their domestic violence stories and ask for donations for the women's shelters. It should be done out of the goodness of a person's heart not because they want to disapprove a book/movie. I would take the pledge to end it, it takes one person to make a difference in the world. The issue should be recognized more often because then people will be aware of it. Having raising awareness for domestic violence days in school, or having someone who has been through that situation come talk to students at school can be ways to make people more aware.
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Jemima, I totally agree with you! Domestic violence is a serious problem that many people tend to overlook on a daily basis. Its's truly sad to know that people, especially women could be taken advantage of in their own homes. Like you explained before, I also believe that the problem is rooted to colonial times where women were considered their husbands property which for centuries was used as an excuse to dehumanize women. I also found your topic on the movie, "50 shades of grey" pretty interesting because I myself was very ecstatic about the movie, despite not being that familiar with the plot, knowing that the movie could possibly support domestic violence. it's encouraged me to start looking at the deeper meaning of the movies I watch on television.
ReplyDeleteJemima, I completely agree with you. I think domestic violence has continued to evolve as a major problem because of the many men and women who deny abuse. For example, when football player, Ray Rice, beat his fiancé (now wife), Janay, instead of blaming her man, she turns around and says the media messed things up. And like I pointed out, she was his fiancé but she went on to marry him. Women in these situations tend to feel cornered and helpless. But when women choose to side with their men and not seek justice, other women continue to be misled and stay in their own abusive relationships.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you. Domestic abuse has been going on for many centuries as something that was normal until it was recognized as domestic abuse some decades ago. We have a natural inclination to think that men are dominant to us because we have been taught this for many centuries and it has been passed down for many generations. We were taught that men were in complete control of a women's body and life and that she becomes a part of him and loses her whole identity. In a reading I once read in my regular history class, "she's like a brook who joins into the Thames" women were like little rivers becoming a part of a great man. The book "50 Shades of Grey" is great example of domestic abuse that has been glorified by the media to seem like it is okay and normal to perform such actions on a woman. Having not read the book or watched the movie, I was naturally interested in finding out what the book was about. I read an article that agreed that this book IS domestic abuse and not a part of the BDSM sex life. Although the book and some practices of BDSM are similar, Christian Grey does not obey the rule of the safety word and continues on. He is glorified for being possessive yet we fail to realize the danger he is to Anastasia. I believe we all should take a stand to stop domestic abuse, however, it will take a lot of work to knock down the patriarchal walls of opinions that has been built for many centuries. All it takes is one person to made a difference in the world but it also matters who is standing on the other side to keep things as it is.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read or seen the movie either so i also wouldn't know what it promotes but I agree that domestic violence is often swept under the rug. A lot of people still have these mindsets that the man is in control and women need to shut up and listen or feel submissive the to the man and because of this mindset it isn't often noticed.I also agree that people only take notice for a drastic reason but still as a society we don't do anything about it we just say' We also in ways accept it and say well the women shouldn't hit a man to tempt him or vice versa but that shouldn't matter because you have to have self control within yourself. In my opinion domestic violence stems from the perception of what we think love is and some people think it is controlling what the spouse does and who they can see and being the only person in their lives. This can cause problems in the relationship and abuse between the two people.
ReplyDeleteI believe domestic violence is a problem that isn't given much recognition. The male and sometimes even the women abuse their other and if it is brought to court it's not much of a big deal. Most men if they are the ones being abused they wont bring the issue to court or even tell people because they are embarrassed about it. They are usually the ones doing the abusing. But when women are abused its the same issue except they will be in denial about being abused they make up excuses like " i fell" , "he didn't mean it" , and " i deserved it". People need to start having more decision groups and hot lines that help people get through their problems.
ReplyDeleteI agree that women or men who have been through domestic violence should educate student as early as possible. I also think that students should be educated to love themselves at a very young age because when people are insecure about themselves then in most cases they feel the need to belittle somebody else either by physically or verbally abusing that person--making themselves look more superior than the other person. I feel as though it's one thing to make people aware of domestic violence however, if a person do not love themselves then no matter how much you educate that person about domestic violence it wouldn't really make a big difference to them. Therefore, it is important to teach people how to love themselves enough so that they will not feel the need to hurt somebody else in other to feel better about themselves. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SHOULD BE STOPPED!!!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with everything you said. Domestic violence isn't something that people make a big deal about. Normally the person getting abused is scared of what will happen to them if they told someone, so I think that's why people don't speak about the issue often. Something definitely has to be done so people getting abused won't feel this way. I didn't see 50 shades of grey but I saw previews on tv and now that you showed me it in a different light maybe it does promote abuse. What if a man thinks doing all those things to a woman is "attractive" or "sexy" when in reality he is really hurting her. Great post Jemima!
ReplyDeleteGreat post!! The 50 shades of grey movie definitely promotes domestic violence in every way. He becomes abusive and does not let Ana see her family and her friends that much its all him,him,him, and his junk. In the preview to the movie who see him put a whip down her back which he eventually uses to whip her behind and she cries and he doesn't stop because in his mind that is pleasure. Also in the book there is a part where she is on her period and he doesn't care because he takes out her tampon and does his business, even when she was like no. She mentions a lot of times that they shouldn't do it but you think he listens no. The intention of the movie I'm sure was not to promote domestic violence it was just for Valentines day to get couples in the mood, and recreate scenes afterwards I'm sure they didn't do the abusive stuff. But that is the problem society puts it in a movie,TV, media and everyone thinks its okay. We need to put commercials that its not okay and we should teach boys/girls at a young age not to do this they either learn from the TV or at home. If they see it is okay then they think this is okay we can do it too. I would defiantly take the pledge if author didn't have the abuse in the book/movie this wouldn't be a problem it would just be a movie about how they meet and then them in their relationship. When I had asked my aunt about it she said its not all sex it shows how its abusive, so yes I think domestic violence should stop.
ReplyDeleteJemima I completely agree with you domestic violence does not get enough awareness. There are many women who are unaware that they are put of an abusive relationship. 50 shades of grey (i have not read the book or seen the movie) but from what I have read online and the trailer, it seems that the only thing the series does is promote violence inside of a relationship. It promote violence and rape more in the actually book then in the movie. I read a blog that said, "if there where as many sex scenes in the movie as there where in the book. It would be unwatchable." That is sad, that they would romanticize date rape or whatever kind of relationship the two had. I also agree with a lot of the comments above, women do make excuse for the other person, Ray Rice's wife was a great example.
ReplyDeleteThis is a phenomenally piece that you wrote here Jemima, I agree 110%, I feel as though domestic violence is a topic that most people do not like to bring up. I hate how some people say its not that important of a topic to talk about , But i think any type of violence is important to talk about. I don't think that all of sudden just because the movie/book 50 Shades of Grey came out was intended to show or have the idea domestic violence in the novel or in the movie. I feel as though people who petition now just because of movie that's kind of sad. When there ha been several movies and novels that have came out talking sex. I feel as though who shouldn't have to feed in to a movie or a book to bring up domestic violence , which a situation like this has been happening and being ignored before 50 Shades of Grey even existed. As women or men we should be fighting for cause 24/7, 365 days in a year if it meant so much to us. Domestic violence has been a topic that has been thrown under the carpet for to long and that has to change fast, but not by feeding off something such as a movie for change.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you. Domestic violence is all around us and often times people think that they are not able to do anything about it. Many females are in abusive relationships and refuse to believe it. Awareness about this issue need to be brought to light. People who are victims of domestic violence often blame themselves for it or say that person still loves them regardless. Their abuser brainwashed them and things like that cannot keep happening. Women have been put down for too long and it's time that issues like this are taken seriously. Men have taken advantage of women too much.
ReplyDeleteI think that Doemstic Violence is something that is just now becoming a big public issue because so many women are submissive on the subject ,especially wives/girlfriends of celebrities. For example Rihanna and the wife of Ray Rice. Instead of these women spekaing out on the act of Domestic Violence they have faced by their celebrity spouse/boyfriend they chose to be submissive abotut the situation. Rihanna and Janay Palmer ( Ray Rice's wife ) both continued to have relationships with this men and stick up for them. They shouldve been the voices for many women that are in the closet about their abusive relationships and help those women STOP MAKING EXCUSES. In my opinion NO MAN has the right to put his hands on a woman whether he was provoked or not , A man should always demonstrate self control as well as a women.
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ReplyDeleteThis was a very good blog Jemima! I completely agree with the fact that Domestic violence has been around for a long time. It is getting its recognition now because before, it was normal for a man to "discipline" his wife if she was acting out of her place. Many "old school" even new school kids are spanked by their parent(s) because it’s an old fashion way of disciplining children. In many cases, the father was the one punishing the children. This can evolve into adulthood where a man may beat on his wife and she might not see anything wrong with it because she might believe she deserved it. This may not be the case all the time but it does appear in many.
Abusive relationships usually come about because one of the partners wants to have control over the other person. A person can only be abuse if they are vulnerable in the situation by believing that they cannot live without their abuser. Many females who "claim" to not be in an abusive relationship truly do not believe that they are being abuse. Most girls think it is cute when a guy will play fight with them. However, when they are play fighting, he might hit her a little too hard, but she will laugh it off. This makes the guy feel that he is obligated now to hit her anyway he likes. Abuse usually starts off small. Females and males need to be carefully because many people in this world abuse others because something is mentally wrong with them. In 50 shades of Grey, to desire hurting another human is all around scary. However, most people will just call themselves "freaks" for having a mindset like that. People will turn something that is wrong into something of acceptance. I believe that the reason someone may be abusive or have abusive thoughts is because something happened to them when they were a child and it’s still has an effect on them. People like this need to go to counseling and figure out what is wrong.
I feel domestic violence is an issue that should be getting more attention than it already is for BOTH men and women. However, after reading 50 Shades with parental consent the novel is not about abuse nor is it romanticizing the idea of abuse. I can understand where it may be argued as an unhealthy relationship but abuse? not so much. Anastasia was well aware of what she was getting herself into (bdsm). Christian not only warned her but told her what he wanted from their relationship. Anastasia is a consenting adult. The BDSM Lifestyle is a lifestyle that we as outsiders to it can not judge. You should also not judge the lifestyle based off that ONE book series because it was in fact poorly written.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you! It's up to up to us to stop domestic violence, domestic violence is romanticized so much that we don't even realize it when it is happening. Movies like Fifty Shades of Grey make domestic violence look like a regular or even sexy thing, however these behaviors aren't normal for a healthy relationship. We need to educate both men and women on what a healthy relationship is, instead of teaching girls what to do when they get into these situations. Like rape we teach girls to carry pepper spray but neglect to teach boys not to rape!
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post! I believe domestic violence is very wrong and experiencing domestic violence first hand, I know how easily it is to fall into an unhealthy relantionship. As far as 50 Shades of Grey goes, I have watched the movie and I believe although the movie does not show all the signs of Domestic Violence, it is like a chain reaction that may lead up to domestic violence. For example, Christian does stalk Ana and follows her to places and he shows strong aggression towards her or anyone who rubs her in the wrong way. The only thing is that Christian has always been this way from the time he was 15 when he was the "Submissive" to an older lady. The thing is that Ana is not the first Submissive that Christian had, she is really the 16th on, but Christian actually has feelings for her eventhough he tries to fight it. In the end, Ana leaves Christian because she does not want to be only his Submissive for his sexual desires, but she wants an actual relantionship which Christian believe he cannot get her. I agree some of the factors of Domestic Violence factors are in it, but I think Ana by the end of the movie knew what she wanted and decided that she did not want to be just his Submissive. I actually think it will be a part 2, but we would have to wait and see.
ReplyDeleteI know personally would take the pledge because I know how easy it is to be in an abusive relantionship and how hard it is to get out of that relantionship. I do feel as though people overlook it because women may hide it or find excuses to say they are not in an unhealthy relantionship. We as people always want to be seen as strong and if we have a weak moment we try to not let no one know, whether its male or female. Other ways that one may stop domestic violence is by spreading the word about how domestic violence starts and the stages of it. Domestic violence can only be stopped if those in that position remove themselves from the situation, no one can do it for them. They can get help but they must be ready first.
Great job Jemima!! It's very true that people dont really talk about domestic violence untill something happens. And the sad thing is that, if children are watching one of their parents' getting abused, they might think it's okay and will eventually grow up doing the same which will then continue the cycle of domestic violence in that family. It's really tragic! And most women don't report it because they're afraid. And this goes back to colonial women and how they were treated by their husbands. Because men during those times had full control and possession of their wives, women could not stand up for themselves. Some women today are scared of their husbands because they still have the idea that men have control over them. It's time we create more awareness of domestic violence and encourage women not to be afraid to report abuse to the police. Once again great job!!
ReplyDeleteGreat job Jemima!! It's very true that people dont really talk about domestic violence untill something happens. And the sad thing is that, if children are watching one of their parents' getting abused, they might think it's okay and will eventually grow up doing the same which will then continue the cycle of domestic violence in that family. It's really tragic! And most women don't report it because they're afraid. And this goes back to colonial women and how they were treated by their husbands. Because men during those times had full control and possession of their wives, women could not stand up for themselves. Some women today are scared of their husbands because they still have the idea that men have control over them. It's time we create more awareness of domestic violence and encourage women not to be afraid to report abuse to the police. Once again great job!!
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