The definition of a mom is “The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself and the one who you can always count on above everyone else.” Moms in general do a lot of things all on their own, with or without a spouse.
My blog for this week is going to be about the woman I love most, my momma. I decided to blog about her because her birthday is on Saturday, so it only seemed right. Now for 14 years my mom has been raising my brother and I all on her own. After her and my father divorced my mom moved us to NJ and my dad stayed in NY. For the past 14 years my mom has been doing everything shes needed to do to take care of my brother and me.  |
| My beautiful mother |
To try to get some info on what a single mom is I simply searched “What is a single mom?” on Google and what I came across was many articles about how some women THINK they are single moms when in reality they aren't. This one article titled "True Definition of a Single Mom" gave me some input on what a single mother really is. The author of this article is a single mother herself. She explains how some women who live with their parents or live with someone else call themselves single mothers when sometimes they don't even do anything for their child. I know for one that whenever I needed something my mom was the only one who could make it happen. She always managed to pay the bills on her own (because its not like my dad ever paid his child support) and she sometimes worked overtime just to be secure on money.
 |
| http://singlemama.hubpages.com/hub/True-Definition-of-a-Single-Mom |
Now I understand that it's hard being a single mother, but sometimes women don't get enough credit. I mean come on, you aren't considered a "single mother" if you live with someone else? To me that's crazy because I know for the first couple of years that my mom was trying to make this all work we lived with my grandparents, and its not like she wasn't single... and a mom. She just needed some help.
I know all my seniors know what its like to be a mom, and maybe most of you juniors do as well, and that's because of junior year health. Now I don't know how it went for all of you but I know for me that was the longest weekend of my life! But that's not even close to how hard it is doing it all on your own, and to top it all off single moms actually take care of real babies... mind blowing huh? Imagine being up all night for your baby's first couple of months, having to make him or her bottles at 2 or 3 in the morning, then having to wake up for work at 5 or 6. Imagine changing all those dirty, stinky diapers all by yourself, or washing all those baby clothes, or having to change again because your baby just threw up on you. That to me would be a lot to handle.
 |
| http://mylenesmusings.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/single-moms.jpg |
In all seriousness, what do you think about single mothers? Do they get enough credit, or are they totally not recognized enough? What do you think they really go through?
Single mother deserve everything ! I cant relate because my mother is a single mother as well. My mother has put me and my sister through catholic school all our lives. She went from working in new York and living in new jersey , having to take me and my sister on the bus to my sister's school in iron bound and taking me to preschool and trying to make it in time to catch the train to New York. Single mothers are but aren't recognized much. They are only really recognized on Mother's Day. Being that we go to an all girls school we learn , I hope, that women are great, mothers are amazing and single mothers are Super. Although my father is in my life I still live with my mother and yes we argue like mothers and daughters do but I like I love her more for it, even though I don't show it much.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Gabby! I know I hated my baby during health last year. That stupid thing had my parents laughing at me trying to quiet it in the middle of the night.
ReplyDeleteAnswering your question about what I think of single mothers, they do not get enough credit for all that they do. Growing up, my mother worked 16-hour (now, more) shifts as a nurse, while in school, and my dad had to end his second job as a home-school teacher after his regular teaching job to pick my sisters and I up from school, make (or buy, because I never eat in the house) dinner, and help with homework. If my dad wasn't there, life would have been rough (and I would never have even seen my front steps with how protective my mom is). And for the mothers that do this and more without a husband, I don't know how it's possible. However, I feel media portrays single mothers as having brought this work into themselves. Reality TV shows gold diggers who trapped men into having children. Media tells us that women who are single mothers were irresponsible and got pregnant before they had a stable environment. This is not true! Single mothers may have lost husbands in war or to diseases, their husbands walked out on them, or they got divorced. No matter what they what caused them to do it alone, these women have so much on their plate and are tasked with raising healthy, productive children, and their strength and braveness should never be undermined.
That was very beautiful Gabby!!! I love the point you made that single moms who live with others are still single moms because they just need a little help. It makes soo much sense because you can't get back on your feet all at once. It takes time and a little help. My mom is a single mother too. We've been living with our mom in Ghana for all these years so when we came to America and my dad started to give us problems, it didn't make a difference when we moved and stayed with our mom because she was the one who was mostly taking care of us in Ghana anyway. So just like your mom, my mom has always been there for us too. Sometimes you don't see it but then it hits you that "my mom is the only one I have. Should something happen (God forbid), there's no one else". And they go through a lot. I can't even imagine. You may think that "oh it's life, it's normal" but it's a lot of dedication and sacrificing. They deny themselves of their own pleasures because their children come first. My mom can't afford to call off even if she's sick. We sometimes joke around saying she's chasing money because she works all the time but it's because she's always putting us first. Single mothers sacrifice a lot for their children and I don't think they get a lot of recognition. But your blog Gabby is recognizing and appreciating all single mothers out there and thank you for that!!
ReplyDeleteSingle moms along with female widows don't get enough credit. It's hard to be a mom. Mom's make a lot of sacrifices, hard work & dedication. They sacrifice a lot for the better of the family. My mom is taking care of my mom and two younger brothers. My mom makes many sacrifices. Even though my mom didn't go to school here so she doesn't have the most high paying job. She still manages to put food on the title, clothes on our backs & be able to send both me & my brothers to private school. I know a couple of people who has told my mom that she won't be able to raise my brothers & I on her own. But I personally know my mom can do it and once I get that high school diploma and go to college I will prove to all of those who doubted my mom. By the way Happy Birthday to your mom.
ReplyDeleteHonestly I relate to this post so much because my mother is a single mom doing it all on her own. Since I was little my mom has been taking care of me by herself. My dad was in jail for 12 years of my life so she had no choice but to take care of me. I believe that they don't get enough credit because it is really hard trying to provide for someone when you are not stable enough to do so. My mother always put me and my little sister before herself, she sent me to a school where she believed i would get the best education that would prepare me for life. Even though it is costing her a lot out of her pocket she still allowed me to stay because she wants me to the best I can be. just knowing that makes me so appreciative her and why I think single moms rock.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very intesting topic GabbyDabbyDoo! So obviously I can relate to this because I do have a child. I live with my mother and because I'm in highschool and cant work , do work and be a mother at the same time becuase highschool is the longest draining 8 hours of my life, my mother is financially responsible for my daughter along with my boyfriend and the help of my grandfather. With that being said I do not consider myself a single mother. However , my mother and sister were. I wouldn't consider my mother a single mother when she had my sister simply for the fact , that she had help from my grandparents and her older sisters. But she had me when she was 30 years old and 5 years later my father was unexpectedly murdered which left her to work and raise me on my own while also being financially responsible for my older sister and my nephew until my sister began working. I watched my mother grieve for months and later she forced herself to go to work because she knew she had a family to provide for. And in my opinion thats what a single mother is ... a woman that does everthing basically on her own to help provide and better the life of her child(ren)
ReplyDeleteGreat job Gabby. Your post is interesting. It's cute how you dedicated this post to your mother. I can relate to this because my father wasn't in my life either. My mother with the help of her family members practically raised us while my father was out there doing whatever, instead of caring for the children he brought into this world. My mother sacrificed her whole life for me and my brothers and I will forever be grateful for all that she has done for us.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me happy when people take notice of their mother and recognize their mothers hard work and dedication for them. Great job Gabby!!!!!!!
Good Job Gabby, Your post is very interesting . It was really nice how you included your life experience with a hard working single mother. Its very true how now in society women who are single mothers or even widows don't get the same respect as a two parent home. Many people tend to forget the saying "it takes a village to raise a family". That saying is so true because no one can handle a child on their own without help. I look up to single mothers who work hard for their child(ren) , many people don't see the sacrifices that single women go through.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post, Gabby! My mom is also a single mother and I constantly see her struggles everyday. Single mothers definitely have a tougher job because they now have to balance the role of mother and father while being able to feed and clothe you and have a roof over your head. Being that I did know my father, I used to always compare how much of work my parents did and my mother always came out as the dominant provider. It is sad to see stigmas placed on single mothers, for example, one might say that the mom drove her husband or boyfriend away because of her attitude or that she became too demanding and "don't let me live my life" or as Chinedum said, some women trap men into having kids with them for child support payments. While this may be true in some cases, majority of single mothers have had tragedy's that have happened to them and are forced to deal with the consequences alone. These strong, independent and beautiful women should be recognized for all their hard work and sacrifices. To all single mothers out there, keep being awesome!
ReplyDeleteGrowing up most of mine friends were raised by single mothers including myself. Not to say that my father was not in the picture, but my mother was and still is my primary care giver. I have to commend single moms because watching my mother raise us I know it is not easy raising four children on your own. My mom has raised us from the time we were born and she worked every day while doing it. No, I'm serious she really worked from the day we were born. My mom never took maternity leave during or after she was pregnant; she almost had all five of us in New Community Corporation. She would give birth and the next day she would be back at work. I honestly think that none of us at this point in our lives can truly understand what a single mother is, unless we have babies of our own and take care of them by ourselves. Being a single mother is no joke; I see my mom struggle everyday to give us a comfortable life, even when she cannot afford to pay for the things we want. She goes beyond what is expected of her and I love her for that reason. I think women although most may get credit from their children society does not really recognize what single moms go through. I feel like TV shows only show that the person has a child or the person's life but never show how the mother bases her entire life around her children, that everything she does is for them. One rarely sees reality TV shows with women who take care of their children and their everyday lives, instead you see teens that have babies at young ages and cannot control themselves or you see women who fight each other all the time. This is what society is making single moms look like instead of showing the responsible, independent women or young lady, instead society shows the crazy, irresponsible person. Single moms need to be seen different in society and throughout the world.
ReplyDeleteI love you post! My mother is also a single mom, she sacrificed a lot to take care of me. She has worked very hard to pay for my education, clothes, food, many of my wants and needs. I thinks that in this day and age single mothers are getting more respect.Being a single mother is not foreign, for some parts of society it's normal. I do believe that single mothers deserve more help. I watched and continue to watch my mother struggle to take care of me by herself. It tends to feel like my family only ask for favors to benefit themselves, and friends can only help but so much. Sometimes it does feel like society forgets the struggles a single mom goes through, but that child that sees there moms worries never forgets. Now that I am older I do everything in my power to ease the burdened my mom has. I will risk taking on more than I can bear in order to see her at peace.
ReplyDelete